Good Old-Fashioned Griswold Family Christmas

Ho-ho-holy crap it's nearly 2008...I hope you all enjoyed your Christmases. I have eaten about a million cookies, watched a ton of hockey, and spent an inordinate amount of time in my pajamas. I am still trying to get rid of the cold I picked up on the plane two weeks ago, but other than that its been good to be home. To understand how dorky our holidays get, you need to know something about my family. We're usually a mixture of the Cleavers and the Griswolds. Around the holidays you have to throw in a bit of the family from A Christmas Story as well. They waited until I got home to decorate the tree, which turned into me decorating the tree while everyone else sat on their asses. The Perfect Child (my 18 year old brother) and I kept up the tradition of spending a day with my mom's mom and doing most of our cookie baking. My father has come up with a new ingenius method of getting us to help him shop for my mom - bribery with breakfast out at a little greasy spoon near our house and then kidnapping to do said shopping. Said presents then end up miraculously in my room to be wrapped.

Christmas Eve usually means evening Mass and then dinner at our local Chinese Buffet. This year I ended up having to help out with the earlier children's Mass 'cause my old choir director didn't have anyone to do the solos. Singing soprano with a cold is always a good time....Anyway, we did the whole dad-reading-The Night Before Christmas- hanging the stockings bit.

Christmas Day dawned sunny for once, and it was the usual struggle to get everyone but Animal (my 16 year old brother) out of bed at 10. Animal also didn't get any presents from Santa this year due to his, ah, less than stellar academic performance. Among other things, I got an iPod Nano from The Wind (the 21 year old) and Santa, which was all I really wanted anyway. :) My dad's parents came over for dinner, which required us driving them to and from our house. My grandfather, at 87, refuses to drive in the dark anymore. TPC and I drove them home around 8:30 which resulted in a half hour diatribe against President Bush and Dick Cheney by my grandfather. I have no idea who started THAT conversation...

The next day I had to get a vaccine (never a good time, but seriously not when you have no health insurance 'cause you're only home for a few weeks). I have no idea what the nurse did, but I have a bruise on my arm where she jabbed me! I also got dragged out to Longwood Gardens in the rain to see the Christmas display (most of which is inside thank God). My mom's family came over to do presents on Friday. That's always a good time as everyone is as crazy as us! (I kid you not - two years ago myself, my mom, my aunt, my female cousins, and my GRANDMOTHER got into a discussion at the table about what a FUPA was!) I only got asked when I was getting married once by an uncle, which was a nice little bonus for me.

All the fun and festivities were, of course, peppered with the usual sarcastic comments, jabs, and wet-willies that occur the rest of the year. I can say it was one of the hap-hap-happiest Christmases this side of the nuthouse! :)

I'm off for NYC in the morning to ring in the New Year in Queens with friends. For some reason this year, the theme is the 90s. Why does everyone feel it necessary to have a theme?? Anyway, there should be a good story or at least funny pictures. Happy 2008! See you in all in the New Year!

The Nightmare Before Christmas

Ho, ho, ho!! The presents have been wrapped. The Night Before Christmas has been read. The stockings have been hung. According to the NORAD Santa tracker, the big man has already visited my house and is currently over Louisiana. "Santa" is downstairs distributing presents. But before all the merriment commenced, there was this:

This horrifying spectacle is currently outside St. John's church, scaring the crap out of any child that walks in. I'm not entirely sure why Mary felt it necessary to rip the Son of God from her womb, and then tear off her breasts as well. I'm sure the Big Guy would have had no problem with her giving birth by a more conventional method, and that He'd want His Son fed properly. She did get pregnant as a teenager, so maybe this was her way of rebelling. Being sinless has its drawbacks.

This is the scene that popped into my head upon seeing this sculpture:

Wicker Mary: "RWOAAAAR!!! I AM THE MOTHER OF GOD!! ALL SHALL FEAR ME FOR I RIP CHILDREN FROM THE WOMB!!! AND I SCOFF AT THOSE WITH BREASTS!"

God: "Um, Mary, perhaps we should let Joseph take over for a while dear..."

Infant Jesus: "You guys better listen to my mom. She means business. So there."

God: "Where's the Holy Spirit?? If I've told him once, I've told him a thousand times. Prophets can get away with crazy. The Mother of God, not so much."

I would love 5 minutes with the artist responsible for this just to find out how twisted his mind really is.

Ok, the man in red is now in Guadalajara, Mexico (crap I think I'm addicted to this thing...), so "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"

I'm Gettin' Nothin' for Christmas...

At least from the vet school....So our exam was yesterday. As much trouble as I had motivating myself, I went through my cattle and sheep notes (74 lectures worth) THREE times. I felt I knew the big cattle problems enough to be able to answer our case-based essay questions. Our exam had 40 multiple choice (worth 25%), and 2 out of a choice of 3 essays (worth 50%). (The other 25% is covered by clinical exam practicals we have in April.) However, in order to pass the module, you have to pass both components (written and oral). I'm still slightly confused about the grading, but moving on. There were 2 cattle essays and 1 sheep. There was no way in hell I could answer the sheep one, so I had to do both cattle. The first was on digestive issues (even if half of it did involve diagnostic tests grrr), and I think I managed to write enough to at least pass. The second question, however...

They spent all semester telling us that trace element deficiencies in cattle were RARE. We only had two lectures on the subject. I felt safe in not meticulously learning every detail. So of course they decide this is what they need to ask us an ESSAY on. I was furious. There were 4 parts to the question. After the case history we had to give our main differential diagnoses - fine. Then how we would go about further investigation - fine. The third part was blood results that WE HAD NEVER BEEN SHOWN HOW TO INTERPRET. Let's just say the marker reading my paper will have a good laugh on that one. The last part had to do with how we would correct the problem. The supplementation methods are pretty similar, so I may get points for knowing the major techniques even though I managed to diagnose the wrong deficiency. It depends on what kind of a mood the marker is in. GRRRRRRRRR

This is really just the straw on the camel's back this semester. I don't know why I'm surprised anymore when they ask us evil exam questions. Of all the very IMPORTANT cattle diseases, they choose to ask a question on an issue that most of us will NEVER see.

This also emphasizes how much I DESPISE the testing system here. I am very uncomfortable with the idea that my passing a qualifying exam comes down to the mood of the exam marker and whether or not they like my writing style. (I kid you not! The Americans tend to score slightly lower because the Brits don't like how we answer our essays.) It's way too subjective, and I feel does not adequately test my knowledge. Also, there's so much information we have to take in now that there's no way to learn it in depth enough to be able to write a solid essay. Multiple choice or short answer allows a greater range of questions and can ask about the major concepts without forcing us to memorize arcana. I despair, I really do...I hate to say it, but, right now, if I had the opportunity to transfer to a US school without having to redo any time, I would. It's not the quality of the education so much as all the crap we put up with. I suppose it's not any better anywhere else. :P

Anyway, it's over and done and there's nothing I can do now. If I fail and end up having to resit the exam in August I will make my displeasure heard. I don't think the school realized that when they started to admit more Americans they were going to have to deal with the American attitude toward getting the most out of our money, education, etc. Hehehehe

It takes a lot to make me cranky this time of year as I LOVE Christmastime. I think I'm one of the few people who don't get stressed. :) (Appropriate I suppose as my name means "Christmas child".) So, enough about my exam. I'm flying home on Saturday - hurrah! Hopefully KLM won't have crappy television and the snow will hold off 'til Saturday night....

I'll have a few thoughts on Christmas to post in a few days. There's an incredibly creepy Christmas sculpture outside St. John's church here that I'm hoping to photograph tomorrow. Next post will be on US soil - woohoo!!

In Defense of the Broad Street Bullies

Ok, so I have to admit that since the Philles made the playoffs in September, I have been rather religious in following my home sports teams (well, not the Sixers). Not to say I didn't follow them closely before; now I just tend to read the Philly Inquirer online and ESPN updates. It tends to be a helluva lot more interesting than sheep respiratory disease, but I digress.

For those of you who are not hockey fans or root for NY teams, you can stop reading now. (NY fans should seek therapy immediately.) Everyone else, let's chat, shall we? Ok. The Flyers came out of last season dead last in the NHL. They did some hardcore restructuring in the offseason, picked up a bunch of new talent, and trained their asses off. Their slogan for the year is "Back With a Vengeance", and how! They had a dynamite start: went 6-0 at home, stormed into first place in their division, and all of a sudden there was life in Philly hockey! Then we hit the end of October....Simon Gagne went down with a "concussion" after an elbow to the face. After a week off he came back, took another head shot and has been out since. (He has been skating with the team, but no contact yet. Baby steps...) Derrien Hatcher was out 4 weeks with a knee injury. The team couldn't seem to find a groove; they played kick-ass against the best teams in the NHL and won, then had lackluster perfomances and lost to teams they should have beaten. They are currently 0-3-2 at home, and in second place to the bloody Rangers...

And then there were the suspensions: Steve Downie and Jesse Boulerice took monster suspensions of 20 and 25 games respectively due to pre-season idiocy (both of these were warranted). Jones hit Patrice Bergeron (Boston Bruins) while his head was down near the boards causing injury and was out for 2. Scott Hartnell finished a check on another Bruin who decided to go after the puck on his knees and sat 2. The latest is Riley Cote who gave an elbow to the face of Matt Niskanen and will sit for 3. (That one was deserved.) The team is now on watch by the NHL discipline board, or as Philadelphians are calling it "double secret probation". It seems that hockey fans and administration alike are on a witch hunt, and the Flyers are living in the heart of Salem.

As I see it, the penalties to Hartnell and Jones were unnecessary. If the Bruins players don't know enough to keep their heads up and not put themselves in vulnerable positions, then they should go back to peewee. Bergy is still out, and I wish him well, but come on! Even Messier said he should have known better! The inconsistency with penalty calling is appalling; the Flyers are not the only team making these hits, but God forbid anyone not in black and orange serve a suspension!

I'm sick to death of people bashing Philly, its fans, and its team. Yes, we can be a VERY unforgiving sports town; you would be too if you hadn't had a championship in ANY sport in 24 years. However, we love our teams with a vengeance, and wouldn't have it any other way. Woe to the city who attacks us! The Flyers have always been a physical team, and this year we have the size to play our brand of hockey. As someone over at ESPN said, let the Flyers play; the league commissioners can go have their tea party by themselves. And oh my God the Boston fans (as if I didn't hate them enough already *cough Cheatriots and Bo Sux cough*). Yes Bergy is still out. So is Gagne!! He took an elbow to the face, but there was no penalty on that one! Deal with it. Sigh.

I have to give the Flyers coaches credit. In the face of the latest suspension, they have called up Steve Downie from the Phantoms to fill the roster spot - take that Colin Campbell!! Talk about giving the league commissioners the finger....The next few games should be VERY interesting indeed.

So in defense of my boys - they're young, and there are a lot of new guys. They've had to face lots of line shake-ups due to injury and such. The consistency will come with time played together. They've already shown they can defeat some of the best teams in the league (Ottawa, Carolina), and they're improving all the time. Once Gags is back, and the guys have found a rhythm, they're gonna be scary good. So beware NHL - the Flyers are back with a vengeance, and they're coming for YOU! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!