Top 10 Reason NOT to Attend (Foreign) Vet School

Ok, so our class has been having some MAJOR issues with our course organizers this year. For instance, one of them has changed an exam format from open to closed book in CLEAR violation of uni policy, and is using semantics to get around said transgression. Anyway, when they asked to have a meeting with us to discuss said issues, we were treated like 5 year olds throwing a temper tantrum. Fabulous. In response to the lunacy, I am taking a page from David Letterman's book, and making a top 10 list. I'd post it on Facebook, but the vet school police would find it and expel me. :P

Without further ado I give you: Top 10 Reasons Not to Attend (Foreign) Vet School.

1. Debt, debt, and more debt. Made all the worse by the amazing exchange rate. Thank you, Mr. Bush.

2. No one works here. EVER. I'm serious; trying to get someone to even answer an e-mail is like going on a damn Grail quest. I realize everyone needs a holiday, but you don't get to take one once a week!

3. High School, take 2. Imagine your high school. Now imagine your high school if you were at least 5 years older than most of your classmates. Now imagine your high school if most of said classmates were girls. See where I'm goin' with this? Which brings me to...

4. Love life? What love life? My class is 80% female, and my male friends are gay. You do the math. I got asked the other week if there was anything new with my love life. My reply was that it had disappeared 2 years ago, and I haven't seen it since. If you find it, could you please tell it I'm looking for it? Thanks.

5. Rampant paperwork thieves. Apparently even if you drop off a form and leave a HOT PINK Post-It on it with your details, it's not safe from these criminals. Unfortunately, the office is run by the visually impaired, and they don't realize it's missing 'til a week later. Or if it's the finance office, not at all.

6. Politics is alive and well. Admin figures if they pay us lip service now we won't make a fuss when they screw us later. How very American of them.

7. Common sense is not required. Let's give the kids 106 lectures worth of work to learn, and then schedule the external lecturers for the Thursday and Friday before their exam the following Wednesday. Or this - let's offer 80 places for graduate entry students. No way they all accept....Genius.

8. The GIANT money pit. We have class at our hospitals 20 minutes outside the city, but we're the only school within the university that has to pay for our own transport out there. They decided not to give us printed notes, but printer credit to print most of our notes ourselves. Where is my tuition going, exactly??

9. The slave labour clause. Oh, you didn't see that? It stipulates you have to do 12 weeks of farm/horse/kennel work FOR FREE, and then a year or two later 26 weeks of unpaid interning on your vacations if you want to graduate. Not to mention ICU duty and final year itself during which time half the clinicians will treat you like crap. Oh, and I hope you don't like to sleep or eat. We don't do those here.

10. Animals? Who said anything about animals? I hope you didn't think you'd actually get to work with LIVE animals did you? That's only for the final years. And I think most of them would be happy at the end of the week to never see another animal again....

Someone remind me again why I'm doing this? I can't for the life of me remember right now....